When Ideologies Mean Nothing

A few years back, I was supposed to read a book for a history course I took in college, "How We Survived Communism, and Even Laughed." I didn't, not all of it at least. I've always read a little slow, and in college, it was a reoccurring theme for me to be behind. I kept the book, however. I kept nearly all of my college textbooks. Anyways, this Summer, I thought to myself how I'd like to read it and then get rid of it. I'm always trying to de-clutter my life.

We like to live by ideals and morals. What is right, what we believe is right, etc. One of the smaller points that the author writes upon is this. Her book describes people who believe in the ideals of communism, but as time passed, they realize that ideals mean nothing when your basic needs are not being met. People who supported the new regimes grew disenchanted after forty-plus years of broken promises. It's true. For example, we like to think that we are good people and that we wouldn't commit crimes, but if our situation and livelihood depends on it, we will ditch our beliefs...

It's been at least a year and a half that I've been experimenting with food ideologies. There are two main off-beat theories that I've been leaning towards, stuck at the fork-in-the-road where they diverge from each other. I can say I've had some measure of health improvement. I've lost those twenty pounds. I've also noticed my body responses better to working out now than it did when I was a very athletic high schooler. Still, there's a point in which a person becomes disillusioned, disenchanted, discouraged - a point in which the ideologies mean nothing because there is so little to show for it. Last night was one of those times for me.

After brushing my teeth last night, I did a little inspection. Occasionally, I do this. Upon review of my teeth, I discovered two new black spots on the very back molars. They don't hurt, but they also won't go away. I tried. The health of my teeth had been a speck pinpoint of pride, and so it was upsetting to discover two signs that something is not right! People might want to blame it on the genes. I don't buy that. It's not the hygiene either; I brush regularly. This makes me question the food ideologies that I have put to practice in the last year or two. My teeth as a reflection of my overall health tell me something is flawed.

My best guess is that with the removal of typical salad dressings, the white vinegar replacement may be deteriorating my teeth. After all, it has something like a ph of 2.4 which isn't much different than pouring soda on my salad for dressing! So for the last year and a half, I've been regularly putting something very acidic on my food and chewing it up with my teeth. I probably could have thought that one out a little better.

So Much for Months of Fun

In my last post, I wrote about how the months ahead were going to be exciting because I had travel plans to Peru and Washington D.C. Peru was 2 weeks of fun, but my anticipation for traveling to Washington D.C. was off-base.

I imagined a different life, a different me. Somebody who would be on top of things and very productive. Instead, I'm just carrying over the same bad habits and the same negative emotions. I almost posted on my depressive feelings before I left, but I held back. The draft is still there, but I have no intentions of posting it anymore....probably because this post will also be of a dark overtone.

An hour ago, I was almost in tears over absolutely nothing. It is the nothingness that is driving me crazy. I go for years without anything to say for myself, but that's not how I remember myself. I still think I'm the person that I was in middle school and high school who did everything. Social encounters made me nervous then, but not like now. Now I hate to even answer my phone for almost anyone. I constantly feel like I should be proving myself, but that I've got nothing to give. And I know I should be happy for everyone of my friends and family members who find some measure of success in their lives, but I see their accomplishments as pools which only reflect my failures. The light that shows all my own flaws. I see myself on the outside of a growing party of successful people, that I can relate to less and less as the days pass. And it perpetuates my anxiety of talking to people. Each day I avoid somebody, this hole I've dug myself grows a little deeper. Maybe a few years ago, I would have been able to hop out. Today, I barely see the sun the hole seems so deep, but there are brief reminders to give me hope. Facebook has also become something of an oddity for me. It's filled with people I used to know, but hardly know anymore. People I barely can hold onto my memories of, and facebook is constantly reminding me of all these friendships I have let fade like dream wisps. I apparently cannot accomplish much without these people actively in my life, how can I imagine becoming more successful with a better social life (and less time for work)?

It's just one big cycle of negatives, but then I'll start to sound like a big whiner. I have so low income I really can't do much of the fun things my once friends would like to do. It's impressive what I can do with what little I make, but it can't impress anybody when they can't see me because I can't afford to be social. And who wants to brag about making pennies for money anyways.

I just cannot believe how far from everything and everyone I've become. Before college, I thought I had the world behind me to do something great with my life. Now it's just the same old nothingness every single day. Lots of goals, little progress. So much for months of fun.

The Months Between and Ahead...

I know, I know. It seems I've totally abandoned my blog. It's been almost two months since my last post, and they were becoming scanty before that.

This Summer, I will return, and write some good quality posts. I promise. In the last two months, I've been focusing more on my scan project. Some very important guests are coming to my apartment tomorrow, and I've been spending my time on cleaning and projects that will better prepare my apartment for their arrival. I should be preparing for them now, too. But I was feeling a little guilty of neglect. So I'm taking a short time-out to give an update.

First off, these guests will be living with me for at least the next two weeks. Not sure what kind of free time I will have. Second, in less than a month, I'll be traveling to South America for two weeks. When I return, I'll have a few days before hauling out to Washington D.C. for the Summer. June 8th is the estimated date of arrival. I imagine the first couple of days I'll be busy with settling in, but...after that...I will be back. I may make an effort to post about my travel experiences abroad, with some or no connection to food.

Since my last post, I haven't lost any more weight. I had some travels in which I ate kind of crazy, and consequently gained a little weight. I've dropped back down now without trying very hard. By not trying very hard, I mean that I've been having a few more cheats than I should. Still, I'm following most of the basic concepts. My lowest was 119 lbs, and I'm 122 lbs now -- down from 125 lbs maybe two weeks ago. My new year's resolution last year was to get down to 125 lbs, so I'm still really doing awesome not letting myself slip too far.

Anyways, for awhile, I've been meaning to post my menstrual cycle chart for the last two years. I think it offers an interesting perspective to what is happening in my body. It isn't perfect. It reflects an imperfect me. I cave in and eat poptarts here and there. I sometimes buy three items from the vending machine instead of a real meal. I know those things are bad. Sometimes, self-control just fails me.

 Seeing the image above might not mean much to you without some extra info. Slightly past the halfway point of the chart, there is a huge jump from a 28 day cycle to a 36 day cycle. Right before that jump, there are a few months that have a low dip. That low dip (29 days, 27 days, and 28 days) correspond to the days that I was training for my marathon last year. I also noticed a few years ago, when I exercised extremely heavily, I would get a little bit of spotting. So, I guess my body responds to hard exercise by shortening my cycle lengths. After that big spike, there are four months in which my period cycles were longer consistently longer than normal. That was the Summer months last year. I was experimenting with diet then, but I still had restricted my animal fat intake to just as low as I could. I was still hungry often.

Then, there is a patch of four more months that are relatively stable at about 30 days. You can see, in this chart of more than two years, how unprecedented that is. Right?!? That lines up pretty well to my switch to a much higher fat dietary intake largely based on saturated fats, and avoiding PUFA's like they were the plague. More careful grain elimination as well, despite having started restricting grains since the beginning of the year 2012. I have no idea what I did to get the second spike in cycle lengths just 3 and 4 months ago, but it appears to balancing back a little. I would mark the graph, to show all these points, except that I simply need to focus on other things right now. I hope I was able to describe this well enough that anybody that stumbles upon this blog may understand how diet and exercise really can change one's cycle. Not to mention pain levels. I used to need to take pain killers for my period. Now I haven't taken them in so long, I don't remember the last time. I would still take them if I needed to be fully functional and couldn't afford to take it easy on that first day.

I recently read a really interesting blog post questioning how essential the "essential fatty acids" are. It made a comment about variation in saturated fat and unsaturated fat content of fish from different water temperatures which I really want to look into more. I suggest you read this link...

http://pranarupa.wordpress.com/2012/12/25/pufa-because-this-wouldnt-be-a-ray-peat-themed-blog-without-at-least-one-post-on-pufa/

Anyways, if I seem distant in the next month or so, you know why. I'm going to have a life! Yay, I'm so excited. Months of nothing to months of fun. 

The Gift of Acne

My insides decided to gift me with two new acne blemishes this morning. Thank you! One on my face, one on my back. Both hard and cyst-like in nature. Ever since the end of my college years, this awful kind of acne has plagued my face (mainly near my jawline). Yesterday I didn't eat much for my body to react to. So I have three guesses about the nature of this awesome reward.

1- Eating nearly 500 calories from Pitted Dates (approx. 1/2 the container, or nearly 20 dates)
2- Three slices of organic bacon
3- Three walnuts (who knows, I might just be super-reactive to nuts)

Note, I did eat other fruits and a salad with olive oil and vinegar. I'm just a little less suspicious of them since I didn't eat a crazy amount of the other fruits, and I highly doubt salad is going to give me acne. Olive oil, perhaps...

Using your body as a test subject really sucks when you're susceptible to acne. 

Random: Not Food-Related Post

I do tend to shift (originally, "shit," but I caught my Freudian Slip) my focus from time to time. Lately, I've been scanning, and as of yesterday, watching a way too much Battlestar Galactica.

My scanning project is simply something that needs to get done. I need to put my baggage in a container that fits in the palm of my hand. As the project progresses, though, I have to face all that baggage. The life I used to live. The one that had a plan and the energy of youth. Instead of living, I'm documenting living. Why? Because I'm afraid of forgetting all the good that has happened in my life.

My recent scan mini-project has been to process all my previous awards. This goes back far. It reminds me of everything I used to do. The sports, the good grades, the clubs, etc. Somehow, I remember all the bad with it. All the failures, too. The work unfinished, the disappointments. That was when I could count the disappointments on my fingers. Now everywhere I navigate my mind, there are minefields of time-ticking bombs implanted special-order by yours truly nearly everyday of my six years in college. They represent every promise I made to myself, and every let-down. Success was not my area of expertise in the second half of the last decade.

I see an award from high school, a scholarship - never sent them a thank you card. There's more than one that fits into that category. I am thankful, especially now, to have received all the money and recognition I did. A science award, why? I did terrible in honors bio, and ended up dropped out of ap chem. My middle school art awards only remind me of my after-school art club painting that was never completed. Cross country awards. I did that for all four years, and on my last year, I was the disobedient brat who refused to run an extra block or something. At least the coach was mature about it. But these were the good days...

College became my civil union with disappointment. It's enough to say that I won't open that stinky can of worms.

Somehow, I made it through. Thankfully, the human body can take a lot of abuse. But the scars remain even if nobody else can see them. And so, it's been nearly two years, and yes, I'm still recovering. Please, leave me alone about it. Don't ask me these questions, like what am I doing with my life. Everyday, I try to find answers to questions most people don't ask themselves. And I work on projects that are meaningless to everyone, but myself. I'm not sitting around playing games, enjoying my twenty-somethings like I should be.  It's a wonder I'm not clinically depressed with all the negative thoughts running rampant in this mind.

But second to death, I'm most afraid right now, that all this was a waste. That all the talent and potential I have, or at least had, will never develop into something worthwhile. I think there may be two types of people out there: people who get degrees and jobs, and people who get degrees and never put them to use in their field of study. I hope I'm wrong, and I hope that I don't stay in the latter category indefinitely.

Random Ramblings_Disapointment and Partial Failure

It's been a while since I posted last, and I guess I've been slacking in some ways. Not posting lots of new information and whatnot. The last few days, maybe week, I went back to my obsessive scanning project. My desk and bookcase were simply not acceptable. I pushed through and finished it last night. Yay! My life is so thrilling. I'm twenty-six, and I spend my free time scanning and reading about food. Someday, someday in the mid-distant future, I will be leading the life to be envious of (hopefully I'll magically stay young), but for now projects need finished and questions need answers.

Back to the food and dieting experiences.

I'm disappointed. My diet isn't perfect. I'm losing weight still, but something is simply not right. Namely, PMS is not right! Argh! Last month, I broke the short-lived consecutive 30-day cycles. This month, as of yesterday, I'm already having chest tenderness. I believe I must slow down and always give my body the attention it is crying out for. I am on edge about this, because this tells me two things:

1) My diet is still causing inflammation, mostly likely estrogen or food-toxin based, in my chest. I guess the diet being the cause of inflammation may be one step too far. I could be detoxing.

2) My hope at a regular cycle this month is a little limited. Usually chest pain develops shortly after ovulation (with the change in hormones). I can expect to be a little early. From long cycle to short cycle, not my new definition of regular.

A clue that I have towards a solution to the problem is that I have at least once decreased the amount of chest pain I experienced when I was eating vegan (very short time-frame). I think due to not having much competitive from other food groups, I was more closely approaching the right amount of veggies (maybe fruits)....and they were usually raw since I didn't feel like cooking if I didn't have to. Problem with that diet - I was always hungry and having energy crashes despite also eating lots high density nuts.

Or the detoxing. I'm probably just having wishful thinking with that idea. In my previous post, I commented on my shrinking butt. This is not the case for the fatty tissue on my chest. I think if I was detoxing up there, too, then I would probably be noticing some size decrease there as well. A more likely explanation is that inflammation is still occurring, and preventing weight loss in that location. Double-edge sword, do you want to keep something when you know it's toxic?

Another factor could be that with the meat in the diet, I am again cooking it. Read something about how many cooked meats produce something that can encourage breast tumors. I'm still a little nervous about the thought of eating raw meat despite consuming raw milk.

I'm considering flipping my diet every other day. Possibly trying intermittent fasting. I oddly feel most alert when I haven't eaten for a while. But then I think to myself I should eat, and just thinking about food makes me want to eat.

Day 1 - Portion out 3 hard boiled eggs
             Focus on salad, fewer fruits (low protein consumption=potential for sugar glycation) 
             Raw milk if feeling unsatisfied by lots of veggies
Day 2 - Eat how I am now, conservative servings of cooked meat
             Also with cooked veggies, fruits as desired
             Left over salad if there is some from Day 1
Day 3 - Delay eating anything until 1pm (if schedule permits)
             Big Salad, late lunch with 1 egg or glass of milk
             Dinner flexible, as long as big salad eaten for lunch
Day 4 - No program. Eat however desired.
Day 5 - Repeat Day 1
Day 6 - Repeat Day 2
Day 7 - Repeat Day 3

I'll be trying this plan next time I go grocery shopping. Raw milk may still be in limited supply at that time.  :/  At this point, the dieting is not so much about the weight loss, I simply believe that my menstrual cycle shouldn't make me unhappy for half of any given month. I'm four pounds under my 2012 trim down goal, wondering when I'm going to hit the plateau & when all the health factors will tell me I'm on a path to extreme over-ripe old age. What a beautiful day that'll be.

Time for a nice glass of chocolate milk! Milking the PMS with a chocolate fix.   :)

You Don't Get to Choose What You Loose

Shadow on an otherwise bright rainbow of possibilities.

Wouldn't be nice if we could lose 10lbs from an exact location on our bodies without surgery intervention? I've been all giddy about losing weight and fitting into all my really old clothes. That is until I realized the cause of the effect was a disappearing behind! Why my body thinks that it is more advantageous to take fat from my butt rather than my belly is beyond me. I heard it before, little choice in the matter. Goodbye, rear-end.

I'm a Raw Milk Crazie. Conversion Complete

Just finishing lunch now. Two hard boiled eggs and a glass of raw chocolate milk.

Sunday I was really bad. I don't know what happened. Perhaps it had something to do with not having any food in the apartment, but I ate awful. I had 3 doughnuts with chocolate milk from a gas station, chipotle, smore poptarts, and a 20oz bottle of Mr. Pibb extra. Oops! Needless to say that between Sunday's complete disregard for healthy food options and Saturday's eating a little more than I usually would, outlook for Monday's weigh-in was bleak. Surprisingly, I was only up about 1 and a half pounds. 124.2lbs. Not too shabby all things considering. Today I was back down to 123.0 lbs.

The chocolate milk I got from the gas station just does not compare to my homemade raw chocolate milk! It sucks, you cannot find simple chocolate milk. The pre-made versions all have carrageenan, high fructose corn syrup, etc. Always unnecessary ingredients. I almost threw the Kemps 2% chocolate milk in the garbage. Felt like I was drinking something tainted with poison. But I'm too frugal for that.

I'm even starting to like the extra cow after-taste of raw milk. Didn't think I'd be saying that so soon. As the milk gets older (today it marks two weeks old), it seems to ever so slightly increase in cow after-taste.

I'm not sure how much of this is psychological. I have become raw milk crazie. If I can't have it, then I just won't have any. Still have to test out regular milk on running. I probably should have done more testing before starting the raw milk. I was too curious to wait, and also worried that I'd run out of time to drink the 3 gallons of raw milk that I bought.

Review: Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead

This morning I watched Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead. The documentary was embedded (from Hulu) on a website that I periodically read online. I can't say I really enjoyed it.

First off, Fat Sick and Nearly Dead is another documentary that has taken a pro-vegetarian bias. Now that I've been reading and watching so many things, I can quickly recognize prominent names for either side (pro-veggie vs pro-meat, etc). It is done subtly.

There is a scene near the end in which the doctor who monitored Cross's own weight loss is talking, and he goes on to mention a study done by Colin Campbell (author of The China Study). There isn't a lot of talk about research and studies and whatnot, so a quick reference to this guy sure is telling! I've read that book, and I've also read criticism of it. But for me, it finally came down to his over-the-top overstating his point that pushed me over-the-edge to side with the critics. If you do experiments in which you single out one aspect of a particular food (milk casein) and get certain promising results, does that really then mean you jump to the conclusion that that particular food (milk) and all other animal products are the devil? Campbell's book paints that picture. I would like to note that, milk is a whole food and just using the casein for an experiment is like singling out the goitrogens from broccoli or other cruciferous vegetables for an experiment ---and then rendering all vegetables as harmful because of some promising results. Campbell's focus was on milk, but then he jumped a few steps and accused all meat products as disease causing. Sorry, but referring to Campbell's work in anyway is not brownie points in my unwritten book.

It's not just the reference to Campbell's work that irked me either. The documentary also showed meats in a bad light. As though a steak on the grill is something you should feel guilty of eating. This type of negative association was often implied throughout the movie. They only suggest "healthy fats and proteins"  like what we're used to being told, ie. nuts, seeds, and beans. As somebody who has a significant amount of willpower and who has tried to eat like this, I can say it's not really the answer. Yes, we need lots of fruits and vegetables. And yes, people with extra weight can lose weight fast eating like this.....but the key is satiety. The only argument for satiety in the movie was the argument about how much space fruits and vegetables take up in the stomach for their low calorie count. He totally misses the point that when you eat a meat or animal-derived product intact with it's high fact, your stomach and brain communicate with each other to stop you from eating before your stomach is stuffed. This is the reason why I can eat three slices of bacon and be content for four hours. Been there, done the fruit and veggie thing.

As far as entertainment, Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead isn't that great either. I am highly interested in all information I can find on food, so that topic was like dessert to me. Unfortunately, the documentary excited me like stale off-brand vanilla ice cream. There were small pockets of humor here and there, but honestly, watching somebody profess about the wonders of juicing for an hour and a half ranks low. Maybe because it's all been said and done before. We all know that processed foods are bad for us, and we need to eat more fruits and vegetables. Other critics of the movie made the point that it was like Super Size Me in reverse. I was also disappointed by the lack of balance between scientific evidence and personal experiences.

However, to end on a good note, I did find the random inserts of animation fun.

Allergic to Running: Experiment Results (Part II)

I've made quite a few posts earlier about this absolutely nasty skin irritation that has been occurring recently when I run. Last evening, I decided to stop procrastinating and go for another run.

This time, I did the opposite of the last experiment. I ate food with little break before my run, and I ate dairy. Instead of pasteurized dairy products, I substituted with the raw milk. My dinner/trial food was two glasses of chocolate raw milk (raw whole milk, unsweetened cocoa, and a bunch of table sugar), and a half glass of plain raw milk five to ten minutes before my run. The rest of the milk was ingested within an hour of my run. I wanted to throw oil on the fire with the half glass immediately before the run. I normally wouldn't eat or drink something that close to a run. Running and digesting food at the same time doesn't tend to work well for me.

I set an alarm on my phone for about 30min in the future and began my run. Nothing awful happened. Felt like I had a heavy stomach with the milk hanging out there...some of it wanted to come back up. Very pleasant. I was completely fine, despite it being quite cold and windy. I seem to pick the best days to stop procrastinating.

What does this mean? I'm not sure. I guess it means raw milk doesn't cause the reaction. Or, it could mean it's gone away? The raw milk might even been somewhat protective to the point if I do an experiment with regular pasteurized milk, it may not work. I might have to buy some of that ultra-pasteurized milk. Ugh. Or, it could simple be a different food entirely that is causing this allergy.

I can also determine that it's probably not dermatitis herpetiformis because I have been bad and eaten two gluten containing chocolate brownies. One the same day as the run, and I had no problems. That skin condition is associated with eating gluten within six months.

Or....who knows....maybe my diet is healing my intestines and what was developing into a significant problem may have disappeared and returned to it's real home in the flames down under.

Upcoming tests will include honeydew (seems to cause a slight sore throat when I eat it) and pasteurized milk.

Liars.

The more I read, the more frustrated I get. You read a lie or myth enough times, you start to believe it. For a long time, I read the conventional stuff. Now I'm way out there, reading what the conventional belief system wants us to believe is crazy. The more I read, and the more I hear, the more I am being moved to the other side.

And whoever comes to read this blog, may witness how an individual such as myself can come to believe all these things that we initially find crazy.

Last night I watched the documentary, Farmageddon. Today I read more of my Untold Story of Milk. A little more than a week ago, I had my first adult visit to a farm. I don't remember much from visiting farms as a kid.  The farm I picked up the raw milk from provided a handout about the risks and benefits of raw milk. They listed a few links at the bottom of the handout. Most of the websites I had been to.

I had not been to the FDA's section on raw milk. I already am familiar with their position from other articles. Still, I looked it up. I kind of got the impression that they took all of the pro raw milk arguments, and said the exact opposite. Not true, not true. Be scared, you will get sick.

Somebody is a liar. Who?

Shall we follow the money? Big agriculture and FDA vs small dairy farmers going out of business around the country?

How many of us trust our politicians? But we trust the FDA with our health?

In Farmageddon, they demonstrate how small farms and co-ops get raided when none of their customers got sick or complained. It all seems like fear-tactics, and why would anybody being using fear if they had nothing to hide or lose?

Lack of regulation of raw milk. So in IL, they inspect milk four times before it is sold. Raw milk, they don't inspect at all. It's like they are setting the system up to have problems. Yes, we want you to get sick on the milk so we can shut the farm down and prove our point. Luckily, when you pick it up from the farm, you can ask all the good questions about testing.

All the while, they don't care about the sickness of the animals in factory farming. And the downplay the food illness outbreaks from meats, vegetables, and pasteurized milk. Seems a little suspicious to me.

We've all heard about many of the moral issues surrounding our agriculture system, but why are we so apathetic?

Change in Cycle Imitating Change in Diet?

So I've been bad about posting recently. The weekends are my busy work days. Last weekend came and went without any time to post a worthwhile post. I was also sort of waiting on my cycle because I really wanted to show how my diet has significantly changed that. Well, that failed. Four cycles in a row coming in at 30 or 31 days was unprecedented reliability in the over two years of period tracking I've been up-keeping. Too good. So the would-be fifth in-a-row 30 day cycle had to mess with me coming in at a 36 days. Maybe next month or the one after I'll post a pretty graph with more information than anyone cares to read about.

I'm used to variation from 27 to 38 day cycles. So a 36 day cycle is nothing to worry about, except that it doesn't make the case for my diet as well as a 30 day cycle does. But then again, this month also had so many unprecedented food changes which I'll list below...

1) Discovery and over-eating of Noosa yogurt.

Each container has 2 servings. I'd eat 2 containers at a time. I generally don't eat a lot of dairy in any given month. I couldn't resist this yogurt. Considering it's pasteurized too, ooops.

2) Nearly half a stick of butter experiment.

Yeah, ingesting almost half a stick of butter wasn't a great plan. It resulted in a terrible outbreak of acne that didn't go away for awhile. Again, I don't think that acne is a good sign of your inner-workings. This alone may have not been significant, but with everything else - potentially.

3) Raw milk trial.

I bought 3 gallons of milk. In the last week and two days, I've probably drank almost a gallon. I usually drink less than a quarter of a gallon in two weeks. Significant change in diet...however, it did come later in my cycle so it's less likely to have had an influence when compared to the yogurt.

4) Lots of fruit juices (100% juice, not from concentrate)

They also have to pasteurize fruit juices. I didn't pay attention to this until the debacle of information concerning raw milk. Anyways, I splurged on a two big bottles of juice shortly after the butter incident and around the same time as the yogurt. It messed with my insides, and may have been a contributing factor in the slow recovery of my acne from the butter.

Clearly, my diet was a bit out-of-wack this month --- and the result was a bit out-of-wack cycle. Little change in exercise levels.

I've sworn off the fruit juice. Eating nearly half a stick of butter isn't fun anyways. And as for the Noosa yogurt, it don't believe it is particularly healthy. I'm also weary of anything that makes me feel like I lose self-control in eating it, like a food addiction. I'll be trying to avoid it in the next month. That just leaves raw milk. Guess, if I'm good, in another month I will know what the impact of raw milk is on my cycle.

Good Day on the Scale...Again

My New Year's resolution last year was to trim down to 125lbs. I basically met it without trying that hard. Yes, in April last year I had help from a marathon, but for awhile afterward those last couple of pounds weren't budging. This year, I haven't set a goal or resolution for weight, but I'm still losing weight gradually. Just over three weeks ago, I was excited about a 124.8 lbs weigh-in. This morning was 123.0 lbs. ~half a pound lost a week. I anticipate seeing the 122s soon -- a weight I didn't realistically imagine ever returning, too. It's not an official goal either. I've been sticking to this diet because it's been relatively easy to follow. Who doesn't enjoy a little bacon for breakfast? We often see and hear that it is recommended for thin people to eat calorie-dense foods, maybe these foods are the ones helping to keep them skinny.

Why is it that nothing is ever simple?

This is a slightly off-topic post.

I have this issue. Everything I ever do seems more complicated than it should be. Simple things like hanging clothes or washing dishes turns into a series of minor details that need to be just right. All my clothes if they are hanging need to be facing the same direction with the hook part of the hangers all in the same direction, too. This makes it easier to move bunches of clothes and to see which shirt is which. Dishes have to be arranged well, too. Ease of access issues maybe, OCD potentially?

Anyways, in some cases I think that it's just the project that I'm working on that is the reason things get more complicated and more complicated as time goes on. But then it starts to appear that everything in my life has become over-the-top.

I really really just want a textbook I could trust for the quality information I wish to obtain. Instead, one person says one thing, another another thing. Everybody blames something, and nobody can seem to be trusted. Is it such a hardship to ask for good information? I didn't get into food research wanting to pick a fight, but the more I read the deeper it goes.

Architecture school wasn't much better. You're never really done with a project. You just are pushed further and further. Maybe I would have been better off with engineering or foreign language.

I'm searching for answers in an ocean teeming with information. Water that fails to quench thirst, and praying that it ain't just me that has a problem.

Interesting Find: Comparison of Ideology Behind Guns and Raw Milk

http://thecompletepatient.com/article/2013/january/16/what-do-guns-and-raw-milk-have-common%E2%80%A6or-why-do-so-many-people-have-so

The Bittersweet Taste of Raw Milk

The much anticipated day has come and gone, and with it, I can add drinking raw milk to the list of things I've done in my life. Don't let me saying that come off as though it is some exotic thing that I only wanted to do for the craziness of it all. That interpretation of my text and consequent perspective would be incorrect. The simple and nearly entire reason for this new adventure has come out of a personal quest for health and truth.

The raw milk atmosphere is so polarized. It's hot and cold. Mainstream public is strung around by fear. Pro raw milkers are discouraged by laws making it a hard business (especially if you consider that only the small farmers are producing and selling raw milk, which we all know how we hear about the difficulties of the small farmer -without considering milk-). Like I've said in previous posts, who wants to drive an hour away to pick up only a small portion of their groceries? Not only that, but who also wants to do a few hours of research online trying to find the nearest location that will sell that raw milk to you? The farmers aren't allowed to advertise, and it's a very limited supply. So the laws are pretty effective in discouraging your average mildly curious person from access.

If nothing else, all the weird legalities around raw milk only frustrated me to the point of motivation.

So, let's get to it...what happened?

Well. I first had to call to arrange an appointment. Then today, I borrowed a car (since I usually bike, and don't have one). I guess I could have biked, but it was super cold today (time of posting, now yesterday). I also would need to get a couple bike racks to be able to transport it back. So I drove to the farm, a little more than an hour north of here.

As I pulled up to the farm, I noticed a 'For Sale' sign. Confusion and disappointment set in, but I was still mostly excited. I was also nervous that in the hour drive, I still couldn't decide how much milk I actually wanted to buy. It was a long driveway up to the estate, like you'd expect on a farm. On my left, I notice a bunch of pigs seemingly not disturbed by the cold, eating to contentment.

I didn't know where to go. The house, the barn, the other barn? Where to park? I was greeted by the farmer (I'll assign him the name Don for future reference) and then given better instructions. It was quiet there. I must have been there almost an hour, but I was the only customer.

Don lead me from their farm store to the milk tank in another building. He let me try a cup. I was expecting something heavier, thicker, and tasting like cow. Instead, it tasted very similar to the organic milk that I get from Strawberry Fields in town (organic, but as a retail milk...pasteurized). Just because the taste is so close, doesn't mean I'm ready to believe there are no differences and that I should just go back to the pasteurized organic milk. The next couple of weeks will be very important weeks for experimenting with dairy. Hopefully my willpower will improve. I have a bunch of Noosa yogurt that I cannot seem to resist.

I was then introduced to the cows. They were all different types of breeds, which seems to be a slightly different approach than some other dairy farms choose. I guess there is something about Jersey cows that gets bragging rights. I don't know. Anyways, they were so cute! The floor was not as attractive. I advise never looking down while near animals on a farm.

I ended up buying three gallons in six half-gallon jars. I froze one of those gallons. It's a bit more milk than I usually drink, but I'm guessing my experimentation may require a bit more milk than I usually drink. I also bought some of their grass-fed beef and organic pork. I bought a lot; their prices were exceptionally low for organic. Seeing their operation lends itself to believing that these animals have the best lives one can hope for as an animal in today's society.

While I was burning a hole in my pocket, I was also slightly sad [not because I was buying a bunch of food]. I know part of the reason I was willing to buy so much was the good prices, but I felt really bad that such a condition exists that people who do good, quality work are undermined by big business farming. As poor consumers, we want the cheapest we can get. If we're uneducated, or indifferent, we don't care about the behind-the-scenes. It's similar in other aspects of life. Issues that we have personal experience, we tend to have stronger opinions on. For example, someone who is not in a minority group and doesn't have any connections to somebody who is may be completely oblivious to racism. They may think it's only a thing of the past blown out of proportion by over-sensitive individuals. When it comes to food, if you're in a city disconnected from the source of your food (since you are buying all your food in the grocery store), then there's a good chance you also cannot relate to the issues of the small farmer.

Capitalism says that private industry under control of supply and demand should drive everything. I think there is an inherent problem with it when access to information is tainted. The American public needs access to information that presents issues as unbiasedly as possible. Without that, we cannot make properly informed decisions on what to demand in a product. That's not to say that I agree with all government intervention either. Dairy farmers with raw milk sales would be in a much better position if government agencies stopped interfering and trying to tell the American public what they should and shouldn't eat. Who knows, maybe the American public would have better health (not necessarily from drinking raw milk, but from simply saying screw the food guidelines).

So the fact that this farm I visited is and has been trying to sale for about two years paired with believing that the small farmers are hurting was slightly depressing. They are looking for somebody to continue their farm in the manner that they've been maintaining it. I truly hope that when that somebody comes along to buy their farm, it'll be the perfect fitting. I feel the cause is just. I wish the route could be easier and the rewards greater.

I even felt like it'd be cool to be that person, but there are way too many reasons I couldn't be (especially at this point in time). Money, knowledge in farming, and desire to travel being the most significant reasons.

I finally tried raw milk. It wasn't anything too different in taste, but all the thoughts and efforts behind obtaining it were more than you could ever envision when picking up a regular gallon of milk at the grocery store. It hasn't made me sick either.

Random Quote: The Untold Story of Milk

Long 'make you feel good' quote of the day:

"It's not just Salmonella and Listeria that taint American meat and processed food. Thirty percent of ground beef samples taken at processing plants were contaminated with the pathogen Staphylococcus aureus and over half with Clostridium perfringens. 'All of these pathogens can make people sick,' wrote Eric Schlosser in Fast Food Nation. 'Food poisoning caused by Listeria generally requires hospitalization and proves fatal in about one out of every five cases. In the USDA study, 78.6 percent of the ground beef contained microbes that are spread primarily by fecal material. The medical literature on the causes of food poisoning is full of euphemisms and dry scientific terms: coliform levels aerobic plate counts, sorbitol, MacConkey agar and so on. Behind them lies a simple explanation for why eating a hamburger can now make you seriously ill: There is shit in the meat.'"
[pg. 254, The Untold Story of Milk by Ron Schmid]

"Eat.......my......shit!" [The Help]

Raw Milk Adventures!!

I am super excited. I've made an appointment to meet at a farm to try & buy some raw milk! Tomorrow. Just one day until I can be officially ostracized by the non-believers of my family and friends for being a crazie.

One thing from the book I'm reading, The Untold Story of Milk that definitely makes sense:

How can we expect sick cows and heat to make a healthy food product? Heat must be some really magical process. Not only does it kill all the pathogens in the milk -- it produces nutrients from a product that should be deficient.

We're all in some sort of national epidemic of denial about the cruelty of our food production, and somehow there aren't any complications for us. We like to be so separate from the process that we don't have to think about it, and everything it means. Until one day, our healthy becomes so bad we cannot ignore it.

[Oh wait, no, those are the over-the-top vegetarians claiming food production is cruel....an extreme exaggeration]

Won't know how much milk I'll buy until I'm there. I've never tried raw milk. I'm scared. It's a little over an hour drive to get there. I think it's ridiculous that the production of raw milk has been made into some odd, almost underground movement. Give us freedom to our own food choices, no matter how weird they sound to our neighbors.

Allergic to Running: Experiment Results (Part I)

Last Monday, I wrote that I was quitting on dairy to see if I could reverse this strange running allergy that began in October. The next day, I wrote about exercise-induced food-dependent allergies. I combined the two theories, and today, I went for a run. I was planning on waiting two weeks, but I'm impatient.

It worked!  :)

I ran for almost twenty minutes with no symptoms. And it was cold! I felt like I was running with lead filled icicles. Brr.

So not eating 9-12 hrs before running + not eating dairy = disappearance of running allergy. Next, I will need to isolate these two factors. Is it the deliberate avoidance of food half a day before I run or the lack of dairy in my diet which have provided these results? I also plan on testing allergy to raw milk very very very soon.... (next post)

Vegetable Fermentation_Update

Last Thursday I posted about trying out another recipe for pickled carrots. My salt water and carrot concoction is brewing on the counter. I've tried it a couple times. It is clear that it has changed taste a little (for the better). It's more sour. Yet it's still not what I remember at Bucho's. The salt water still is a little more salty tasting than I'd like, too. Tonight marks three twenty-four hour periods. I'm nervous about giving it too much time. Patience. I'll give it at least one more day.

Other news: I ate terrible today. I had a gluten-free, dairy-free pizza with a cherry coke for lunch. Yikes! Awful processed foods and soy. Then for dinner I cooked something good. Grass-fed ground beef in tomato paste with a bunch of veggies. Celery, carrot, potato, onion, and green peas. Quite delicious, but I definitely feel as though I overate. Not looking forward to tomorrow morning's weigh-in.

Other randomness: been thinking to myself that I have a bunch of ideas I wish I could materialize and get rich off of. Saw somebody's comment online about how much of not accomplishing things is simply related to not trying. I'm always a chicken. Sure would help to have some confidence, thank you architecture school for all the confidence you stole from my personality.

Blog is on the backburner for a little while. I'm switching my focus from food to other stuff. I'm still experimenting with dairy-free for the running allergy. Soon I'll be going for a run to test it out maybe tomorrow afternoon if I can be good and not eat anything until then. Maybe just a few blueberries tonight, with a run before lunchtime. So I will be updating. But as far as content from readings and the like, that'll be limited for a bit. It's just the way I am. I focus intently on some things for awhile, then shift to another thing and then go back.

Random Quote

Found in the comments of an article on the football dead online girlfriend hoax. Funny, kinda. I do not advocate use of these. Read a few personal accounts about TSS and know that they are not the only option (ie - CUP!).

"You don't really know a girl until you have to rip her used tampons out of your dogs mouth."

Trial Two: Vegetable Fermentation

Some sources online say that fermented foods are really good for you. Probiotics. Beneficial bacteria. Blah blah blah. Yogurt is the most commonly used example, but there are more...

According to wiki, the World Health Organization has classified them as possibly carcinogenic.

Before I started this blog, I tried to make a form of fermented vegetables. Failed. I don't know who's right with the fermented foods, but I'm all for trying them and seeing what happens. I always enjoyed eating sauerkraut in small quantities. I used to buy the cans, then the jars once I started avoiding canned foods.

My absolute favorite fermented vegetable experience is from a Mexican restaurant back home called Buchos. They have an amazing carrot and garlic appetizer zinger. Papa's Pizza and Buchos are the highlights of my dining experience when I go back home. The pleasure of eating those carrots at Buchos coexists with a sullen feeling of knowing I cannot reproduce the experience without them. Dependency. And Binging.

Outside dining experiences inspire me. I mimic what I like, adapting various versions of the recipe from online sources. Well, I thought pickled carrots would be simple.

For my first trial at pickled carrots (which took me a while to even find out that is what has been done to those Buchos carrots), I chopped up a bunch of carrots and garlic. Then, I covered them in white vinegar and threw them into the refrigerator. I waited a day or two. I don't remember how long exactly, but I do remember my patience running thin. I finally caved in, and ate chopped carrots with a coating of vinegar. It tasted okay. I enjoy vinegar on my veggies. But it surely didn't match up to restaurant experience.

So, tonight I'm trying again.

This time around, I'm only using salt water. I'm also not putting it into the refrigerator until after there are signs of fermentation: sour taste, popping, fizzing. From the blog I found this from, the girl says that should take about two to five days at room temperature. Then it stays in the refrigerator for another two or three days before eating. It lasts more than a month in the refrigerator. Yay.

Tonight is day one. Sometime between Sunday and Wednesday of this week I'll get to try my second attempt at pickle carrots, Buchos inspired.

I focused on fermented vegetables for this post mainly because I'm exited about this carrot recipe. But also because I'm on my dairy avoidance experiment with trying to figure out that weird skin reaction. So cheeses and yogurts are out for the time. The Asian fermented foods really don't look like something I want to stick into my mouth. Should always start with something you know you like. I already miss that Noosa yogurt. I've promised myself that I'm going to fix that allergic reaction. Odds are against me (lots of places online say allergies after the age of 20 tend to not be grown out of), but I'm hopeful.

Allergies

I never remember being allergic to anything in my life. I'm quite puzzled by the sudden development, and I'm more and more convinced it is a food allergy despite it occurring when I exercise (so far only in the cold). I did a little bit more reading on allergies. There are a lot of theories, but no real answers.

My hunch is that allergies that develop later in life are related to you gut flora (since that's related to your immune system, and one idea is that allergies are caused by over-sensitive immune systems). They say it's unlikely to grow out of allergies when you develop them later in life (ie, <20yrs old). At 26, I'm screwed.

But, I'm still hopeful. Perhaps the reason allergies aren't outgrown in life is because we've damaged our intestines so much, and we don't change our diets to allow them to heal. Just a thought.

Exercised-Induced Food-Dependent Allergies (me most likely, boo)

"Exercise can induce an allergic reaction to food. The usual scenario is that of a person eating a specific food and then exercising. As he exercises and his body temperature increases, he begins to itch, gets lightheaded, and soon develops the characteristic allergic reactions of hives, asthma, abdominal symptoms, and even anaphylaxis. This condition has been referred to as food-dependent exercise-induced anaphylaxis (FDEIA) and is most common in teens and young adults. The cure, actually a preventive measure, for exercise-induced food allergy is simple -- not eating for at least two hours before exercising." ---WebMD

"The first case of FDEIA was recorded in a marathon runner in 1979, who collapsed when he ran after eating prawns."   - Funny that I started by reactions six months after my marathon.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2197842/Going-jog-Dancing-Or-just-doing-gardening--How-taking-exercise-trigger-deadly-food-allergy.html

New thoughts for experimentation:

Since, my yogurt is gone now...experimentation will be beginning shortly. I'm so excited to induce my feisty skin reaction - Yay! From reading a bunch of places online, it seems that many people who have exercise-induced allergies can avoid having an allergic reaction if they avoid eating about 4 hrs before exercising, or by avoiding certain foods 24hrs in advance. Have I really been eating too closely to exercising?

I wonder why fish is such a common allergen. Everything and anything is on the list though. Multiple food allergies really makes me think that it has got to be something to do with your gut not processing things properly. Why in the world would we be reacting to so many different foods, especially foods that are considered healthy?

Calorie Restriction: Some Thoughts

Popular belief is that in order to lose weight you need to cut your calories by eating less energy dense foods (ie, peanut butter or high fat foods) and eating more low calorie foods (ie, vegetables). A whole range of online calculators can provide you with a basic estimate of how many calories your body needs to function based on activity level, height, and weight. Yeah, I've been there, too. Perhaps there is some merit to calorie in vs calorie out, but I think it misses the point. In the process, it's a major pain in the arse. Never was able to stick to things like that for long. So, here my own randomly assembled ideas on calorie restriction and calories in general.

- The types of calories you ingest affects your satiety.

This is a result of your insulin response. The quicker the food spikes your insulin response, the more painful the crash and burn after-effects (ie, resultant hunger). To choose 150 calories of carbs (ie, some oatmeal) vs 150 calories of protein and fat (ie, a small piece of meat) will determine how long you stay content with your breakfast. Even the types of oil or fats you use end up with different storage or use processes. Research medium chain fatty acids. Now, if the body isn't getting what it needs, it doesn't matter how much you eat of something else, it will keep requesting food in the form of hunger pains. I used that as a sign to help me determine if my diet was working or not...I've had many hungry days despite eating consistently in the past.

- Calorie counting ignores the metabolic processes going on inside your body.

Okay, go ahead, count those calories meticulously. What about how well your body is working? Metabolism is also strongly influenced by your stress levels, sleep patterns, gut flora, etc. Adjust some of those other factors can play a role counting calories hushes. Instead of giving it the attention it deserves, you think to yourself, it's life, get over it.

Again, as in the first point, different foods go through a variety of potential pathways.

- Mixed opinions on frequency of eating.

Many general articles on losing weight include the recommendation that it is better to eat a bunch of small meals per day instead of two or three big meals. Sometimes, I think to myself that is just a rumor that was started to cover up the fact that carbs cause intense hunger pains approximately two hours after eating. I do agree eating smaller meals may be helpful, but not necessarily eating too many more meals.

- Calorie Restriction and Metabolism.

It's often said that you shouldn't eat less than something like 800 calories per day or you will experience "starvation mode." I used to really wonder how it was humanly possible to limit yourself to less than 800 calories in a day. That was back when I was addicted to my cereals and pastas. Now, if I get too distracted by other things, I forget to eat. The hunger pains aren't urgent. This would be an extremely value tool to any dieter. So, you want to lose weight, try cutting the grains and increasing the fat (healthy fats).

Another note, I experience heightened energy levels when I eat less. This can't be a bad thing either! Who doesn't want to feel light and energetic? However, when I eat too much, I feel heavy and slow. Also, if I do cheat and add rice or something to my meal, I find myself stuffed and sluggish. I read somewhere randomly that said a lot of supercentenarians eat very little.

Fat Tuesday: Yogurt Style

In a previous post, I ranted about the availability of raw milk. So, while I wait for the warmer months to come, I've decided to go back to no dairy. Bummer.

Today and tomorrow will be my fat days. I bought six containers of Noosa yogurt. So delicious. I've already eaten two (which each container is two servings). I noticed afterward that I had a slight sore throat. Mild sore throats have been a common compliant for myself ever since my sleepless nights in architecture school. Would be interesting if they are also linked to dairy. I really don't want to cut the yogurt!

The plan. After I finish the last four yogurt containers, I will cut dairy out for two weeks. Then go for a run. If I don't show any signs of improvement, I'll go for another two weeks. And if that doesn't help, then I'll be really confused. I'll cry and eat some ice cream to celebrate finishing another experiment.

Raw Milk Frustration

Okay, so I might be on the edge about raw milk -- not really knowing how much to believe from which side of the argument. BUT, I would like the freedom to access it so that I can decide for myself. Isn't it our own risk to eat partially raw eggs or meat?

Ranting.

Illinois is one of the stuck in the middle states on raw milk legislation. By that, I mean raw milk isn't approved for retail/commercial sales, but it is legal to buy it directly from a farm. So how many of us consumers go to the farm for our food?

Not only that, but from what I can find online, there are two places within reasonable distance to obtain raw milk....just not in winter. There's another place about an hour North that offers milk. Hopefully year around.

But really? Who wants to drive an hour for one item? And if you're car-less like me, that one hour turns into something like three or four hours, one way!

[Positive note: if it's winter, at least I won't have to worry about the milk spoiling in the extended transit time.]

Curiosity killed the cat.

Skin Reaction and Civil Rights

So I found this while browsing a bunch of skin reactions on wikipedia. Thought is was interesting.

"In the United States, the Eighth Circuit Court of Appeals found that, because black males suffer from pseudofolliculitis barbae more than Caucasian males, Domino's Pizza's no-beard policy violated the 1991 Civil Rights Act, Title VII.^[8]"

Pseudofolliculitis barbae is basically razor bumps, more prone to occur in people with thick, curly hair. I doubt there's something like this in place for the military.

Skin Reaction from the Depths of Hell

I'm very suspicious that my diet isn't 100% perfect. This is because around the time that I added more milk back into my diet, I also noticed an extremely unpleasant allergy developed. I swear sometimes the happenings in this world are beyond coincidence.

January of last year, I was training for the Illinois Marathon in April. It was a cold winter training, which I enjoyed. Nothing like a cold day to keep you cool while you run for an hour. I've always been a runner. In middle school, I was the freak that chose the jogging option repetitively. The gym instructor one time told me, "If you really enjoy this, you should try cross country in high school." I hadn't heard of cross country. I have always been out of the loop, in my own happy place. Her words stuck with me, and cross country was the first sport I did in high school. The only sport I did with the school my freshman year. I ran for all four years. I was an average runner, 7-8 min miles, nothing impressive in the big meets where you find a bunch of girls with 6 min miles. Still, for our team, I was a reliable decent runner.

In college, I let off of the running a little bit. It was a stressful time. Whenever I did workout, running would be a part of it. When I returned to running with the marathon, nothing beyond slow miles had changed. I didn't care, so what if I did a 12min mile, so as long as I finish that thing. The most I had ever jogged or ran was 6 miles before that, so I was a little intimidated by the mileage.

People say allergies come out of nowhere, or come and go as you age. I have never been one to have allergies, so it's really peculiar that between April and October of last year, under 6 months time, I developed a reaction to running....or maybe the cold. I don't have a problem when I bike. I didn't have any problem when I was skiing New Year's Eve. Only when I run, and possibly prolonged periods of walking fast, do I have this problem. A year ago, I was training in the winter without an issue, what is going on?

The reaction is really something awful. There are no visible symptoms, aside from some slight redness. But it itches worse than anything I've ever experienced. I transform into this nasty creature I'm in so much torture. And it's awkward because it itches from my butt down to my knees. Who wants to run and violently scratch their behind at the same time? It goes away when I stop.

Funny, isn't it? How the life long runner became allergic to running? Literally.

Some thoughts on the matter:

When I was in cross country back in high school, there was a teammate who was allergic to the cold. In October, around the end of our season when all the important meets took place, her performance would drop. She said she would break out in hives. I thought it was crazy at the time. Never heard of anybody who had an allergy to cold. She must have been miserable! Come May, I'll be able to figure out if it is really running, or if it is specifically running in the winter if I don't solve the problem by then.

I firmly believe this has been a development in response to something in my diet. My health has otherwise been only improving, so if anything I'm feeling younger now than I was feeling two years ago (metabolically I'm probably younger at least). It's only been in this last year that I've made such extreme changes to my diet. Possibly culprits include: wheat (despite me axing it), pasteurized milk, meat, or eggs.

The reaction is very similar to a condition called dermatitis herpetiformis. Only less severe since it goes away quickly, and it doesn't blister. It could be in the developing stages. If so, I would really need to stick 100% to a gluten free diet as gluten-free is the only known cure for it. Since I've never been tested for celiac disease (although gluten-free has had significant benefits for me), I've been slightly okay with ingesting small amounts of it around friends or family. I was hoping that I'd be gluten sensitive, and not celiac. However, if this is reaction happens to be the early stages of dermatitis herpetiformis, then there's a >80% chance that I'd be positive for celiac. No thank you, I do not want a doctor cutting out a portion of my skin to test for dermatitis herpetiformis. Instead, I will keep experimenting until the answer develops.

By the way, that's 100% gluten-free, 100% of the time for at least 6months. If you have dermatitis herpetiformis and ingest wheat...however small, you can expect to have to wait 6months before you will be symptom-free.

I've read that milk can be very allergenic. Considering that I stopped drinking milk for a long time, and only very limited diary products, it could be a similar reaction caused by milk. Unfortunately, for we're talking in the time frame of 6 months, this will be a really difficult experiment. I hope to find some raw milk very soon and experiment with that. I've read from the pro-raw milkers that it happens to not be allergenic when not pasteurized.

No, I'm not terribly afraid of getting sick from raw milk. That's just something the FDA wants you to fear. I'm more afraid that I won't like it since I'm not accustomed to drinking it. Unfortunately, finding raw milk is a pain. In the state of Illinois, you have to buy it directly from the farmer.

Today I went for a 20min jog to test out the reaction again. It wasn't as awful as in October, but it was still fairly unpleasant. That was the motivation of today's rather long post.

Remembering an Acquaintance

I never thought that I would go down this path. That what I would read, would bring me so far out there...

So when I first met, Dan, I didn't ask all the questions I should have. It didn't help that I was shy in that crowd of friends. I often keep to myself many things for sake of not knowing how people will judge me. Anyways.

Dan made chocolates. I wish I could have appreciated them more, but I guess that takes knowledge of the process. Not everybody enjoys dark chocolate. I'm somewhere in the middle. But he was inventive with it (flavors and packaging), and it's really something else to see somebody so young producing something like that.

I don't have an amazing memory. College/sleepless nights really ruined that. So there are many gaps, and thankfully I have some pictures from my encounters to help this mind.

I remember Dan mentioning something about a food movement. Did he invite us to something? I don't remember that specifically. But he was talking about milk during that conversation. He wanted to do something with food and how it used to be made. He wanted to rediscover the traditional way foods were prepared and eaten. I can't remember how I internally processed that at the time.

I'm not the kind of person that misses people much, or develops strong lasting bonds. Sometimes, but after so many disappointments you kind of can't get attached. Not the same way at least. So to say I miss somebody I hardly knew just doesn't feel right.

Somehow, it seems like I keep being reminded of Dan, though.

I was on the bus one day and saw this. Thought it appropriate to take a picture, and oddly enough, my camera was with me.

Another time, later, I was reading about food and milk. Surfing the net, but trying to find local things. Found Dan again. If I knew then what I know now, I would have had a bunch of questions to ask. Life is a crazy place.

I never went to any of the events surrounding his death. I really only barely knew him, and I don't know how to console people. Just seems so awkward. Doesn't mean he is forgotten.

The Untold Story of Milk: Initial Impressions

After reading a book completely against milk, I found another book all pro-milk. When I first discover it, I was able to read a chapter or two online. What I had read really intrigued me, so I bought the book.

One of the cool chapters discussed the history of milk in the U.S. Really interesting. His history account of raw milk asserts that it was much more common before WWII....

The other cool chapter was one on lactose intolerance and raw milk. He claims that something like 80% of people will lactose intolerance can tolerate raw milk (because the enzyme that digests lactose is normally in milk before pasteurizing denatures it). That makes me wonder, if raw milk has an enzyme to digest the lactose (the primary milk sugar), does that change the way it makes your insulin spike. I commented before how I've read that dairy products spike our insulin, which supposedly equates to negative health consequences when prolonged.

Lactose intolerance is also an age related condition. Your body stops producing as many of the enzymes to digest milk as you age. Or so I've read online and experienced with in my family.

Anyways, I was excited about the book. So I started to read it from cover to cover, only to be met with minor disappointment.

1) A whole chapter related to historical references to milk especially from religious sources is not only not that thrilling, it hurts your argument. It was a long chapter. I know the author really just wanted to communicate that milk has been an integral part of human existence for as long as anybody can remember, but too many references to religious sources makes it sounds like, "See, God is on my side." That's nice, but too much and too boring. It kind of felt like he did Ctrl+F, milk, to the bible.

2) "In the whole range of organic matter, milk is the only substance purposely designed and prepared by nature," (pg. 13, Untold Story of Milk) ----LIAR---- Pants on Fire. Did Ron Schmid (author) forget about the whole category of fruit? It's sweet and alluring, with lots of wondering nutrients, made from nature, AND it wants you to eat it!

How else are those seeds going to go anywhere and propagate? Yes, the wild wind is going to carry the entire fruit + seeds off. How many times have you seen seeds in your crap? Okay, maybe you don't investigate, but they rarely get digested. You have to actually bite them open to get the insides digested. That's a very bitter taste which encourages us not to bite them. Fruit + seed = benefit for us and the plant. This is also the main reason why I'm a little skeptical about eating seeds for nutrients. I believe the whole foods that are good for us will also taste good. Seeds are not yummy in and of themselves.

While I was looking forward to reading this book, it ain't perfect. Good thing I read the other chapters first, or I would have less motivation to read this thing from cover to cover.

Top Signs to Stop Ignoring

I said in a previous post how we like to be tough and ignore the signs. I also believe that we've been conditioned not to recognize the signs our bodies are giving us. So I've devised my own funky list of things you should stop ignoring ASAP.

1) Acne after college. 

Okay, we'll give a break to the hormonal teenagers. Acne is strongly connected to the well-being of your gut. Hormones being out of wack is also related to diet. Do not believe that there is nothing you can do about acne. Your skin is speaking for your insides...saying, "Help me or I will make you ugly!"

2) Hemorrhoids or general discomfort taking a crap.

Crap should be passing easily and without pain. If it hurts coming out, how do you think your intestines feel as it is passing through them? Maybe you didn't feel anything as it passed through the intestines, but it doesn't mean a lot of damage isn't being done. If there are any issues in this department, I'd start reading.

3) Unexplained bloating. May tie in with point #2 in that weird gas and craps frequently accompany bloating.

I know it's a shy thing to talk about with others, but still. It doesn't need to be a way of life. Unless, of course, you would rather have bloating than do without the causative agent. For me, this would be eating too much grains in one setting (ie, fistful - probably okay, more than a plate full - watch out!) and dried fruits.

4) General fatigue not explained by sleepless nights or excessive stress.

Can't say sleepless nights or stress are healthy alternatives, but if you're tired, you should at least be able to explain why. You're probably deficient or unbalanced in some way if you're always tired.

5) Change in libido.

Again, this gives you a little insight to what's going on with your hormones.

6) Slow wound healing.

If you get a cut or something, how long does it take to heal? One of the signs of diabetes is slow wound healing. It's also a sign you may have some vitamin or mineral deficiencies.

7) Menstrual Irregularities /Heavy bleeding

I've always thought I was a heavy bleeder...and I thought that was normal. I thought it was normal to feel like I have the flu the first day of my cycle. And I also thought it was normal that my period may come on time +/- one week! It's not normal. "Normal for everyone is different." BAH! What if you have any of these issues, and you could significantly change them? Our diet influences our hormones, so you have more control than you may have been told. In a post to come, I'll write a whole lot more on this topic...

Animal Rights Meets Omnivore: Bad Idea

Now that I've got the background out of the way...

You can understand, then, that when I first added meat back into my diet, I didn't add a lot. Part of the reason I favor fish and eggs is because it seems like it is the least cruel. It's much easier to feel sympathy for taking the life of a cow than a fish. I like that you can still easily find wild fish in regular grocery stores. But there's a part of me that really does like the taste of meat....and another part of me that believes that meat is the key to my health improving.

Which finally gets me to what I wanted to say!

I had this crazy thought. I'm pretty sure that it's not that practical either, but for all the animal rights people out there who can't do without --- what about having farms that only sold animals that died of natural causes?

So there's a large plot of land where a bunch of animals live and breed. Put them in a mimic of their natural habitat, but void of all their predators. Let them live and eat happily until they keel over. Have sensor collars on the animals that alert the farmers immediately that an animal has died and where. Harvest the dead carcass.

But then I got to thinking, if there were no predators, how would these animals die?

Would it be gross to eat a cow that died from a tumor? Would something like that exist outside of factory farms?

Animal Rights Meet Omnivore: Background

When I first went vegetarian, I was in eighth grade. I didn't really question things for myself. I never considered why we eat meat, never questioned my diet. Until the girl across from me did. She was all pro-animal rights, and I was all for supporting her with the rest of my lunch table friends. I wasn't expecting it to be so easy, but then again, I wasn't really thrilled with most of the meat dishes made at home. I only occasionally missed things like sloppy joes.

The real motivation came from my family who poked fun at me. So when everybody else started eating meat again, I didn't see much of a reason to switch back. Anger ran through my blood, making it really simple.

I still remember eating out with a friend of mine (back when I had a little more of a social life). I guess I still hadn't learned the full art of questioning things. My cousin had given me the book, "The China Study," and I had become one of those vegetarian cultists. Not that I really cared if everybody became vegetarian or not, but just so set on believing that was the right path. I remember reading it and wondering to myself how the casein from milk experiments was enough to rule out all meats, too. But beyond that, I took to heart all that the author wrote. Convinced me to try vegan. Scared me away from milk for a long time. When I told my friend about the book, we were at dinner. I don't remember her giving me any good information against the book, but it was a few years ago. What I do remember, however, was her telling me, you should read more before you go believing this guy. Haha, my response was something like, "Maybe, but I'm pretty convinced..."

Maybe it took the three or so years for that to brew in my mind. And oddly enough, I had to go even more conservative with my food before breaking loose to last year's food research marathon. I had found a blog of somebody online who was vegan and grain-free. He seemed so happy with it. I was skeptical, but for whatever reason, I tried it. It was around this time that I was also training for a marathon. The new diet really lacked the energy I needed, but I had noticed some perplexing health improvements along with negative health impacts. It was enough to make me start questioning everything.

And now, instead of believing main stream conventional health points, I'm a looney. A looney omnivore.

My Diet...

Interested in trying out what seems to be working for me?

Start by tossing out nearly everything canned. Exception, tomato paste (and beans if you eat them). Mainly, your meals shouldn't be from a can or any other ready-to-go package. Next, open the fridge, and get rid of all condiments containing anything with high fructose corn syrup (it's really not equivalent to sugar) or a long laundry list of ingredients. Most likely this will include all types of salad dressing. Salad dressings generally include soybean oil or some other crappy oil - and it does matter. Peanut butters usually have bad oils, too. You can find peanut butter without added oil, if you must. Just got to be willing to turn over a bunch of peanut butters to find it.

-Protein-

Make sure to eat enough protein from quality sources. Eggs are my go to choice. Spend the extra money and find the local organic ones. Factory farming isn't only cruel, it produces lower quality food for you.

I generally don't limit my protein. I personally favor fish and eggs, but I will also buy bacon, chicken, and beef. Oh, looking for a nutrient-dense protein option? --- oysters!..or liver. I make sure to find the fattest options, nothing that is blah % lean. I believe our bodies know what to do with that fat.

-Fat-

I get fat with my protein options. Don't be timid about fat. If I buy milk, I go for full-fat. If I buy yogurt, I hunt for the fattest option (which is almost non-existent because we're so low-fat crazed). I use coconut oil for cooking (I've heard it's also good for weight-loss). Olive oil rarely, for salads. You're probably wondering what to eat with your salad, learn to make your own high-quality dressings. I tend to use vinegars with salt and pepper.

All other oils I don't touch with a 9' pole. Unfortunately, this also means that I look at going out to eat as though it's junk food (even nicer places) since it is uncommon to use coconut oil or animal fats for cooking in restaurants.

-Carbs-

Simply, not from grains (more junk food in my mind). After eliminating wheat, I discovered that my bloating disappeared, too. I extended this to other forms of grain because I believe it would be the last thing I would eat if I was starving in the wilderness. They don't taste good the way nature prepared them for us. They're hard, boring, and require a lot of work to get them to the point that they are sought-after. Fruit, however, yumm yumm. The fiber in fruit is matched with water. Many fruits are something like 90% water. I think that helps prevent the bloating that is associated with grains. Not to mention all the antioxidants found in fruits and vegetables. My fiber comes solely from fruits and vegetables. Limit intake of dried fruits, too (ex, prunes = terrible bloating).

Potatoes became my comfort food. If I missed bread, I substituted with fried potatoes. It is a little annoying to have to cook so much, but the desire to eat grains has significantly decreased.

I'm not saying this diet is perfect. I still have a lot of uncertainty. I have an entire book on fats and another one on raw milk to read. These areas still have some grey to them. Furthermore, I've read conflicting information on sugar. But for the sake of happiness, I'm taking sides with the sugar-lovers. It doesn't seem to be harming me any.

Blaming the Scale

The scale we weigh ourselves is just a simple instrument. When I felt like my weight was out of my control, I turned on my scale. It's the same scale I have now, peculiar how we've become buddy-buddy.

I used to weigh myself, and the weights would vary so drastically from day to day. Always weighing in during the mornings before eating and after peeing. How else could I explain it, but to question the authority of the scale? Must be a faulty scale, there's no way I gained 5lbs!

It still jumps around these days, too. Only I feel that I have control of myself. It's a fragile control; I can become easily vexed should I see a weight gain of more than 2lbs overnight that I cannot explain by a splurge on junk food or something similar. But the general slope is downwards.

Today marked a real achievement. ----  124.8lbs!  ----

Definitely ringing in the New Year on a high note. I'm really not even trying (though the initial cutting grains out of your diet can be a challenge). Not exercising excessively. In fact, the last time I did any exercise was skiing New Year's Eve. Normally, I bike everyday for a total of about 40min. Not this week. I'm not a hungry either.

"It's working, it's working."

Diet Welfare Comparison

My boss and friend, a sociology major, is always commenting on the finer details of society. It's motivated me to make this comparison.

She explains that many people on our welfare system are viewed as people who aren't trying hard enough to better themselves and who are just eating out of the system. We place the blame on the individual, rather than the set up of society. We think to ourselves, these people are getting assistance, but if they're so poor, then why do they have those designer jeans and fancy phone? [Could have been a gift or second-hand]. We read into a life we don't know, judging by whatever limited information appears to us, dismissing the barriers that may have played a role. For example, consider the disparity in quality of education for inner city kids versus a rich suburban education in preparing a K-12 child for college. Would the barriers to getting into and staying enrolled in college be the same for both situations? Could be, but probably not.

Do we not do the same thing to overweight people (including to ourselves)?

Let's consider our dieting and medical society. We all know the stats...

     "Percent of adults age 20 years and over who are obese: 35.9% (2009-2010)
      Percent of adults age 20 years and over who are overweight (and not obese): 33.3% (2009-2010)"

Approximately 25% of the population will die from heart diseases, another 23% from cancer.  What about accidents and not diseases? Combined, accidents, suicides, blood poisoning, and homicide only reach 8% of total causes of death. So, the majority of us can expect to die from a disease. Nearly 70% of our population has an issue with weight, and ~90% of us will die from disease (most of them, "diseases of affluence"). And we blame ourselves?

If we look at heart disease, your risks are mainly hereditary and lifestyle choices. Then you're told to limit your fat, eating whole grains, and less sugar - sent home with some cholesterol lowering drugs. The same supposedly heart-healthy diet that helps us lose weight, only we're not losing weight.

They say that being overweight or obese increases our likelihood to have heart disease, diabetes, etc. Do you really believe that 70% of the population has no willpower? Maybe, society has been set up in a way that everything we believe about food and health is actually setting us up for weight gain and disease. Maybe, instead of judging the flabby person eating a large plate of spaghetti, we should question all we think we know about food.

Impossible Soft-Boiled Eggs

A major component in my diet is eggs. I am no longer fearful of the cholesterol and saturated fat in eggs. I can easily eat 3 dozen in a month. Be afraid if you value my presence in this world, and be patient if you don't. I'll be falling over with a heart attack shortly.

Since I've cut nearly all processed junk out of my life, I'm really keen on learning how to make the perfect soft-boiled egg. Or maybe medium-boiled egg. It's that transit from runny to solid, (but not quite) which I'm aiming for.

So far, it doesn't exist.

Today I got a wonderful surprise when I began to peel my "soft-boiled eggs." Soft-boiled eggs in which even the egg white was not yet solidified! Just what I want to eat. The image above is the aftermath. This would not be the first of my trials with eggs. I've also been trying to find ways to eat raw eggs. I know, I know...fear that salmonella, who is this girl that's off her rocker? I'm surprised I can still stomach them after some of these run-ins (raw egg white tastes like somebody else's snot getting stuck as it reaches the back of your throat).

Just to be clear, beyond the crazier details, I believe eating egg yolks are healthy and that they should always be eaten with the egg white (not discarded). Most of the nutrition is in the egg yolk, and it's the best part - listen to your taste buds. If you don't want to believe this crazy....

Egg whites vs egg yolks:
http://www.ahealthiermichigan.org/2011/10/11/the-nurtional-value-of-egg-whites-versus-egg-yolks-what-do-you-use/
Effects of cholesterol in eggs:
http://www.sciencenews.org/view/generic/id/7301/description/Reevaluating_Eggs_Cholesterol_Risks

Recipe for uncooked soft-boiled eggs:
1) Place eggs in water and heat on medium-high heat for 15mins
2) Turn off the heat and leave eggs in hot water for 20min
3) Remove and let cool, place in fridge

Recipe for over-cooked hard-boiled eggs:
1) Place eggs in water and heat on medium-high heat until water boils (or patience runs thin)
2) Turn off the heat and leave the eggs in hot water for 10-15min
3) Remove and let cool, place in fridge

Confession, I know Nothing about Blogging

I must be getting old. I often feel like I'm not a part of my generation. This is one of those days. I've wasted countless hours trying to figure out how to be able to get my blog to appear when goggle searched, and I am temporarily giving up. Commentary suggestions is welcomed.

I attempted to add keywords to the template. It supposedly worked, but a google search does not show that it has helped. Not that my writing should warrant top hits...I'd still like to be able to find it without too much trouble (and others)!

The social anxiety part is the part that is having me hold back. I'm waiting to share this blog with my facebook friends because I'm afraid of running something-a-muck while I learn the ins and outs of blogging. I doubt I'll ever understand it all, but at least while this blog has nearly no viewers I can feel safe that nobody will laugh at the noobie errors. I have the same problem with facebook. It's always changing. I have no idea what of my stuff is broadcast and what has privacy settings on it. I recently struggled with changing my profile picture. Randomly, today, it appeared that the option I had been looking for returned. All these things create a nervous Beth. It is one reason that I don't post or do more with facebook. I need to get a second facebook profile with no friends that I actually know so I don't have to worry about what happens while I learn.

[Note: Also holding back on facebook updating friends until I have a base of entries written.]

Experiments without Conclusions

While I was home over the holidays, I attempted to continue my diet for the two weeks I would be in other people's kitchens. Some days it was easy, other days it was too awkward to be so restrictive.

Batman Rises and Movie Popcorn

One evening my family planned a movie night. It sounds innocent enough, food for snacking is optional, sort of. My family happens to love their popcorn with movies. My uncle eats popcorn for a meal often. I, on the other hand, don't really care about popcorn. When I eat popcorn, it's the bites with extra butter and salt that I get excited about.

Initially, I told them I wanted to skip the popcorn. It's not part of my diet, and I really don't have much desire to eat it. Then, they started asking questions, and I gave in. If I want to explain everything that has brought me to this position, I simply cannot do it adequately in person. I don't feel like my diet is ultra-restrictive, but that's coming from somebody who has become accustomed to doing without. Anyways, point of the matter is, I ate the damn popcorn, and I ate whole lot.

The popcorn was simple - not the microwaved in a bag give you cancer type. It was plain popcorn kernels popped in coconut oil over the stove. Melted butter and salt were added afterwards. Four simple ingredients, and I know for certain two of them (coconut oil and salt) do no have any adverse reactions with me.

I blamed the popcorn for my upset stomach with very loose, demanding attention stools. My cousin, however, thought maybe it was the butter....

So, Nearly Half a Stick of Butter Later

When I returned to my apartment after the holidays, one of the first things I did was go for the butter. I wanted to pinpoint it down to that popcorn. Unfortunately for me, eating three tablespoons of butter also has some unpleasant side-effects. Namely, my face exploding with red acne spots. I would also like to note, that I would never eat three tablespoons of butter with nothing else. It wasn't all that thrilling. I had to force the last bites down with some orange juice.

Clearly, it's hard to come up and the point the finger at one or the other. I never noticed any issues with more acne when I have used lots of butter on my food. Perhaps it's also because I don't force it down. With the popcorn, I didn't force it down. It's mildly addicting, each bite barely finished before you are reaching for the next one --- reminiscent of the addictive nature of cereal and pasta on a smaller scale.

I may never come to an absolute conclusion on popcorn. I really have no desire to eat plain popcorn. As I noted above, popcorn is only good to me because of the butter and salt on it. I do not have any popcorn in my pantry, and I have no intention to ever buy some. This has made me more vigilant to the possible effects of butter, and I will pay attention to my face more after heavily buttered meals.

Now, to relate some of this back to random things I've read or heard from others.

In the predominantly pro-primal/paleo groups of bloggers, there is this belief that anything that spikes your insulin response should be avoided. This includes all kinds of sugar, grains, and yes, even butter. Apparently the only dairy product that doesn't spike your insulin response is cheese. I am curious if they tested both pasteurized and raw milk out when they were doing their research. I am skeptical that it was a point of consideration. [Note: reason cheese doesn't spike insulin is probably because the lactose gets consumed during the fermentation process]. My diet isn't based on insulin response, and I do not believe in limiting fruit consumption. To play devil's advocate, I've found a meta-analysis study that found that dairy eaters resulted in more weight-loss in overweight people than their non-dairy counterparts. I imagine the increased fat intake helped curb hunger.